Good Days

072550a8ab7811e2934722000a9f3cae_6

There are my good days. I have days where I wake up from good dreams. I have days when I look in the mirror and realize that I’m smiling. I was once told that the corners of my mouth curve in such a way that even if I wanted to have a serious look I would still be slightly smiling. It’s a physical aspect of my face, not something I can force, and I have days when I’m thankful for it. On days like that I know that whatever bad days you brought me were worth the good days I have by myself.  Oh my love, it turns out that I have feelings that I can’t control. On good days it’s my bliss knowing that I’m better off, and I don’t need anyone to tell me when enough is enough.

-Pearl

Xibalba

Tonight I felt it again. The overwhelming sense of oneness with this world, and all the others beyond it. I sat and let it flow over me. I can still feel it overtaking every part of my body and mind. I feel it on my fingertips and entering my lungs with each breath I take. I feel the essence of the presence that lives within everything and everyone, not just of this world but to the stars and beyond. It’s all one. I don’t speak of religion, or the ways that man has sought to control the rest of the world, for that does not exist and changes with each generation. What I speak of is the real spirit. The free and never changing soul that is beyond the word “lives” for it has no beginning nor end. I felt it because I let myself, I let it in, and it gave me peace. For there is so much more than what the masses who inhabit this Earth choose to see and feel. They separate themselves from nature, although we belong to it, not the other way around. Some venture in to wilderness and marvel at its beauty, yet they do not give themselves over the vibrancy that surrounds those places. You simply cannot marvel, you can’t just see, you must feel every single spirit and sense that nature has for you. The warmth in me is from my simple ability to feel, and what I would give, to have all the world experience what I once called a curse. Maybe then they would understand that no one is ever alone.

-Pearl

Heavy

I’m sorry. I’m sorry I can’t be the solution to your problems. I cannot carry the extra weight. I am just a person and making me out to be your salvation is just as bad as damning me as your downfall. Both of those things are entirely in your power, thinking otherwise is a lack of faith in yourself. Pick yourself up baby, because I’m done with all the heavy love.

-Pearl